


Harsh

by sunny_impalas



Series: all of my fanfics in one place [13]
Category: The Outsiders - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Dreams, During Canon, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Kinda, Other, kind of, once again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-29
Updated: 2020-01-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:34:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22459582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunny_impalas/pseuds/sunny_impalas
Summary: Sodapop thinks about Darry
Relationships: Darrel Curtis & Ponyboy Curtis & Sodapop Curtis, Darrel Curtis & Sodapop Curtis, Darrel Curtis & Two-Bit Mathews
Series: all of my fanfics in one place [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1183928
Kudos: 28





	Harsh

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not really that big on writing for The Outsiders anymore, but I have feelings about Darry and Soda's relationship

Soda had decided that Darry had to grow up too fast. Although, he supposed everyone else saw that too. Saw it in the way he walked. So stiff in those broad shoulders of his. Saw it in the way he talked. He hardly smiled with his teeth anymore, his tongue never poked between them when he did. Saw it in the way he spoke, too. Always too harsh on Ponyboy. He knew Darry just wanted him to be able to go to college. He knew that was something he regretted.

He saw the Stanford sweatshirt in the wash, occasionally. He never actually saw Darry wear it though. Almost like he was ashamed to let anyone see him wear it. Like he didn't want them to see the person he could have been. Like he didn't want to confront that fear.

He dreamt about a world where Darry could've gone to college, sometimes.

He dreamt about the light in his eye he had before Ma and Pa died, how it never would have fizzled out. He dreamt about Darry wearing his glasses more often, contacts hurting his sleep deprived eyes. Dreamt about him coming home from California for Christmas and listening to him talk about wild parties he never went to because he never was the type for parties. He dreamt about him graduating, maybe moving back closer to home and getting a teaching job.

Those were his favorite dreams.

He thought about all of that as they stood in shock as Ponyboy stumbled over himself to get out the front door. He heard Darry yell for him, but he sounded far away. He sounded like he was underwater. Soda felt like he was drowning. His heart pumping hard and fast as he turned to Darry and spoke, adrenaline poisoning his words and making them drip pure death on every syllable.

"It's all your fault, Darry! You're too harsh, not just on Ponyboy, but everyone! This is all your fault!"

Sodapop ran to his room and slammed the door shut. The hinges groaned at the assault but he couldn't care less. He felt the familiar sting at the corners of his eyes and he sunk down on the floor, an ocean seeping from their deep brown depths and making his face and hands wet.

He hadn't realized he fell asleep sitting on the floor until he felt how sore his neck was from the awkward angle. He looked at the window, still dark as hell. He ran a hand down his face and heard voices downstairs. He figured it was Pony and Darry, fumbled apologies and insincere words in order to make peace. He willed his numb legs to stand so he could join his brothers.

As he made his way down the carpeted steps he realized the calmer voice wasn't Pony, it was Two-Bit. Why the hell was Two-Bit here? He tried to make out what they were saying, but they were being too quiet. Darry probably didn't want to wake him up. Soda cringed as he remembered what he had said to the elder man.

Some part of him reminded him that Darry was hardly a man. He tried to swallow that thought before it would lead to more guilt on his part.

He reached halfway down the stairs before he could make out what they were saying.

"It's all my fault, Two. Why hasn't he come back yet? Why?"

Pony wasn't back yet?

"I dunno, Dar. I'm sure he'll turn up soon though. He probably just went to see Johnny."

Where was Ponyboy?

"Two what if he's dea-"

"Don't say that."

Soda swallowed shakily as he realized what Darry really did fear. He gripped the railing tighter as he strained to hear Darry's whispering. He couldn't make out any words, wondering what the hell he was saying. Slowly he heard the sniffling. The hiccupy inhales as Darry tried to contain himself.

He had to walk further down before he would believe what he was hearing. He only had to take a few more steps before he saw Two-Bit hurriedly wrapping Darry up in his arms. Leather squeaking as it strained against his shoulders. The stairs squeaked and the redhead looked at him. Storm cloud eyes shooting a horribly nasty look at him before returning to soothing the near hyper ventilating twenty year old in his arms.

He slowly made his way upstairs and his heart ached. The dull throb of emotion spread through his entire body until he nearly collapsed onto the bed. He curled in on himself and tried to drown out the sound of Darry calling to report a missing persons. He hazily started to fade into sleep as the tell tell banging of police man met their front door.

He dreamed foggily of a terribly broken boy walking out of an equally broken door to college. His pale glacier eyes turned muddy and watery with unshed tears, a deep red hoodie tied around his waist. Dreams of what could have been.

**Author's Note:**

> Please kudos and leave a comment!!! And let me know if y'all would want more things like this (if I even keep writing of the Outsiders, that is)


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